Memorial Weekend is coming, and it traditionally has marked the start of the “summer” season. I know we will be hosting and attending BBQs and neighborhood gatherings. We are also busy finalizing summer plans. These plans, like those of most Americans, include visiting with our extended families. While there are few perfect times to talk with parents about their estate plan, the relaxed times you spend together on vacation can be one of them.
Here are some tips on how to conduct this critical conversation:
Find a good place to start. One of the best ways to ease your parents into a financial discussion is to bring up your own. Tell your parents that you were looking into your own estate plan and wondering if they had already executed their own. Sometimes you can use scare tactics to good effect – there are usually a lots of stories about celebrities or others who have neglected to plan and paid the price with dire consequences. If you missed these headlines, read our March Newsletter for an article on the late Paul Walker’s estate.
Take it easy. If you feel that parents may need some help with organizing their financial lives, be reassuring rather than applying pressure. Let them know that you want to make sure their financial independence is kept intact for as long as possible. Take things one step at a time, such as extending an offer to help them use online bill pay or assist them with organizing their information at tax time.
Respect boundaries. Many parents feel uncomfortable discussing their finances with their children. If you face this obstacle, let your parents know that you at least need to know where to find their important documents, or who does know where to find these documents besides them. Reassure them that you aren’t attempting to control them in anyway but you simply want to help and make things as easy as possible for you and your siblings when something does happen.
Offer options. Discuss the safety of important documents and suggest they either use a safety deposit box or fire-proof, water-proof safe for originals and have a third party, such as an attorney, financial planner, one of the family, or a trusted friend keep copies. Learn and share information about services such as DocuBank, that provide online storage of medical directives and other important healthcare information and the importance of everyone’s primary care doctor having copies of these documents as well.
Sometimes initiating a conversation with parents about estate planning can be easier with the help of a Personal Family Lawyer®. At Holmes Shirley Law, we can help. Call our office today at 720-241-7621 to schedule a time for us to sit down and talk about designing an estate plan that fits the needs of you and your family.
